Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
