Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
