A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
