you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize