im drinking this country out of the recession.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Found the puke drawer
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
