I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
