I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
