omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
