we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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