the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
