All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
