The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
