Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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