Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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