Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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