I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
