TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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