At least make sure they are 18
Why
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
