Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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