is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
