think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
