I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
