I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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