She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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