So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize