from now on my penis is your penis
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize