what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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