I feel great
I just peed on a car
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
