I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Watching her eat just hurts me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
