i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
