I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
