at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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