batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
