I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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