I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
