You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
