all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
