I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
