I heard we made out
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
