I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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