I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
