Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
