well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
