How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
