guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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