sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize
