Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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