he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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