I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
