If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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