My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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