how can u be prego again
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
