i just had sex bonerless
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize