In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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