You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
