Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
