we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
