Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
