i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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