smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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